Friday, April 8, 2011

Here's one for 2011

1- Wife & Husband

Wife
: How have you managed to get home so early today?
Husband
: My boss lost temper with me and shouted "Go to hell". So I came home.


2-
Black guy & A White Girl
A black guy and a white girl met at a nightclub. She took him to her apartment and said: "tie me to the bed and do what black men do best!" So he ran off with the TV and VCD...

3- Wife & Husband

Wife: "I wish I were a newspaper, so you can hold me every morning!"
Husband: "I wish you're a newspaper TOO, my dear so I can have a NEW ONE every morning!"


4
- Something wrong
A Chinese couple got married. When their baby was born, she had big, blue eyes, curly, blonde hair and brown skin. They named her ... SAM TING LONG.

5- Wedding nights

Man to wife on wedding night- "Are you sure I'm the first man you are sleeping with?' "Of course honey, I stayed awake with all the others!'

6- Not at all

70 yr old man asks his wife "do u feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?"
Wife replied "No not at all, even dogs chase cars let alone nice Cars but they can't drive it."


7- Don't disgrace your family

A young Chinese girl going on her 1st date. Her mother warned her…."1st he kisses your cheek; then he'll kiss your breasts, you'll enjoy; then he
wants to go on top. You must not allow it so as not to disgrace our family name."
Next day girl told Mom, "Everything happened exactly as you predicted. I
didn't allow him to go on top so I went on top and disgraced his family."


8- Baby burn't

A white couple had a black baby….
The husband doesn't believe that it's his baby.
Husband: Why the baby black?
Wife: U hot, I hot, baby burnt..!

s

9- Expiry date

Wife: "Honey, what are you looking for?"
Husband: "Nothing."
Wife: "Nothing? You have been reading our marriage certificate for an hour?"
Husband:" I was looking for the expiry date!"


10- Why black?

Boy: Mom, why am I black and you are white?
Mom: Listen Son, considering all the crazy things I did years ago, you should be thankful that you are not barking!!!

Make Peace No War & Bet Year 2011 would be a better one for all of us & all your Loved Ones